This woman is over the top. All the more reason to use AAMs scripts to squash the problem. Its not so bad, really, to catch a whiff here or there, but a lot of patchouli is in the form of oil, which makes it even more concentrated and in your face. Yep. Its just her dryer sheets, but it lingers for several months. And if this is how OP functions, what about the other coworkers? OK, you are unlikely to see this, but I *love* chicken. This happened a couple more times over the next few months, at which point I went to my manager to let her know this was impacting my health and work and to see if it would be possible to find a resolution. Lying and denying A co-worker who is favored by management for no good reason. I mean I get the idea but thats a heck of a food to ruin. I don't think he would ever be unfaithful to me and I don't think he is guilty of anything other than getting to know his coworkers and being friendly. Its tough to diagnose on your own, Dr. Reisman says. They never get to work on time and are five to fifteen minutes late every single day. Agreed. Good idea! If it is just a personal preference to what she is smelling you do not need to be so accommodating. She may be grossed out for real, but the fragrance allegedly emanating from the LW isnt actually emanating, theres nothing they can do about it, and the coworker needs to lay off. Makes me smell like an old shoe. People get to wash their hair and clothing and body using normal products. Also I get that OP is bending over backwards completely to try to be scent free, but honestly, even scent free soaps are not. If you have a fabric covered chair for instance, the fabric might have absorbed some patchouli prior to this incident. Well, only kind of. Asking a coworker to switch soaps is ridiculous. Curiously enough, the first symptom I get is irritability. Oh college lol. It's his responsibility. I once did a volunteer gig in a bingo hall this was before tobacco regulations were tightened in public locations and afterwards I could smell the smoke until I washed my sneakers, my purse (fabric, luckily), and my coat and scarf. I am sensitive to some smells, but nothing compares to my sensitivity to patchouli- its really bad and triggers an almost instant headache that progresses to a migraine if I dont move away from the patchouli smell. However, I draw the line at cheap room fragrance oil diffuser things for some reason, those set off my migraines. I can understand perfume as that can be very potent and seems to do well to linger in the air. Is your nose running a marathon? Its not like we banned cilantro-flavored food. The place sold those cinnamon-scented pine cones and she was right at the front where they were stocked. Even though they say unscented many of them still have a scent. That's the end of it? putting an end to your runny nose. He is constantly sniffing.not just a little sniff but a really big sniff that you can hear in the back of his throat. Of course, Im lukewarm on bacon and despise people drowning all other flavours by adding it to everything, and meh about cheese too so I appreciate your feelings. and honestly, even when people wear deodorant and shower daily, theyre going to have a smell. Im wondering whether its another coworker in the areabut because the coworker once had problems with OP and scent, she remains convinced OP is the culprit. I also had the thought that the coworker is trying to pick on OP with the smelly hippie stereotype. Thats a good idea! Oh, like I can use neutragena sensitive skin moisturizer and I can use neutragena sensitive skin sunscreen, but if I use neutragena sensitive skin moisturizer with sunscreen, I break out in a horrible painful rash. So while your ailment might be legitimate, running from the room or suddenly grabbing your forehead when you smell someone these behaviors ARE going to seem rude and you might have to accept that and live with being known as rude. Or the chair, if its a fragrance she was wearing for a while before the coworker first complained? Concerns are shared. But wayward snacks and toys arent the only things that can block nasal passages. But that requires A: Absolutely believing the coworker that they smell something, and convincing them you believe them and realio trulio WANT to get to the bottom of this. who CANNOT DEAL with the fact that a person doesnt eat cheese. The OP writes that she wears scents with patchouli on the weekend. I ALWAYS try to sniff and lick sweet girls' shoes. It is not intended to be and should not be interpreted as medical advice or a diagnosis of any health or fitness problem, condition or disease; or a recommendation for a specific test, doctor, care provider, procedure, treatment plan, product, or course of action. As such, burping and sniffing are not likely listed in your handbook. Ah, I see you already made my point about how other people might have conflicting allergies. (Ive had a lot of practice). Febreeze is the nuclear bomb of deodorizer. I live in the U.S., but Im African and I work in an office where people are from all over the world. Its your co-workers responsibility to go to their supervisor with a request for accommodation, doing the formal form filled out by a physician versus going to you each time she doesnt like the way you smells when you have done everything that you can do to accommodate her. I have encountered commenters, here and on Corporette, who fully believe that scent free is the way to be, and that the world would be better if everyone cut scented products out of their lives. I meant no offense and should have not used the word disgust. Alison gave you the next steps so go from there. My mom swears up and down that baby powder smells like dirty diapers because she so strongly associates the two. I only tried it in my hair once years ago, though. I had a co-worker who used it and one day I gave her a ride to a work function and my car smelled like patchouli until the day I traded it in, especially on hot summer days at 5:05pm. to accommodate an employee, but I wouldnt deep-clean my carpets or replace my mattress. I hope thats not whats going on here (or shaming for other categories or behaviors that the co-worker thinks are different.). Maybe that really is whats going on here. They are everywhere and they are stronger and longer lasting. Not sure if she has a medical condition though or she just doesnt wear deodorant/antiperspirant. Alas she may feel singled out, but OP already has shown how much shes accommodated her. Good luck and thank you for taking this stuff seriously. . Several of the ingredients they use are irritants to lungs and eyes, several others are known allergens, and some of them are linked to neurotoxicity. I love lOccitane products, they somehow avoid scent allergies for me. I think its one of those scents that everyones nose interprets differently. Using Chat for Office Communication. Theres a specific inexpensive powder wallgreens sells. Clock out and walk around the block for 15 minutes before I come back to my desk? Oil tends to penetrate and spread, so yeah, maybe its in the clothing permanently. Primary care is a good place to start. Not just because it isnt fair to severely limited what people can do on their own time in their own homes but because its impossible to totally eliminate cross-contamination, especially with common fragrances. And then do that, because its reasonable for you not to want to be subjected to this. Or, if OP isnt the type to be cold at work, perhaps a fan set on low that could blow the scented air away from the coworker? All the advice about deep cleaning all bedding and coats and switching detergents and shampoos and the like is baffling. I told my supervisor and somehow it got handled. In the end she still has the same title as seven years ago and I (and another co-worker she bullied) have moved on to bigger organizations, titles, pay and mindsets. If so youve gone above & beyond & youre under no obligation to do more. The only solution we have is avoidance, and that is made virtually impossible by the laundry and cosmetics industries. YES! When youre a non smoker, its bad. On the plus side, I did learn how to ask for anti-histimine cream and tablets in Spanish. It's perhaps the most direct sexual display a man can make towards a woman. If one were going to be pedantic about it, the solid perfumes would be the only ones properly referred to by the word perfume. Maybe its something as easy as lingering scent in a jacket; if you dont wear the jacket the scent isnt there. However, nothing I could do would fix the problem. about. I was thinking about this, too, but I havent gotten any promotion, raise or recognition since we started working on this project. This person took a fan ad pointed it st me daily. Your coworker could merely be bothered, in which case its up to them to get over it. I apologized and stopped. Now its up to the co-worker to prove its not a case of singling her out. It became a campus-wide thing. ), move her desk, something. I would not send her to HR, they are likely to be the dingbats that will turn it back on you. You are a much nicer person than I. I would have drawn a line in the sand with your co-worker in a likely not-nice manner. What she doesn't know is that I love to sniff all her friends shoes. Preempt HR. Im one of the rare 20-somethings that doesnt take laundry to my parents house to do, because their washer smells funky and the funk seems to come off on my clothes a little. Some scents are that pervasive. There shouldnt be any fragrances lingering around. Also, interestingly enough, I have grandparents who live in another country. Im mostly fine with Irish Spring soap, which has a pretty heavy fragrance that makes me sneeze occasionally, but when I ran out recently and had to use a bar of a more lightly-scented soap that was supposed to be good for sensitive skin, I started breaking out in hives. From what Ive read, it seems that if this happened to me I would have to spend several hundred dollars replacing every toiletry and all laundering supplies in my home, wash everything I own multiple times and most likely get all coats and heavy fabrics dry cleaned, and even THEN the coworker may still not be happy with my potential scent. Copyright 2007 - 2023 Ask A Manager. One option would be to talk to your manager. You have a slimy feeling after talking with them. Toronto-based journalist William McCoy has been writing since 1997, specializing in topics such as sports, nutrition and health. I do have a sweater that lives at the office, and I took it home and washed it after she complained. Right; this is where the psychology of scent gets complicated, because everything and everybody has a scent, and everything and everybody is made of chemicals. Im guessing no, otherwise the coworker would have an office reputation for being sensitive. But I also think it can be Pavlovian, where you see the person you identify with a scent and smell it, even if theres no actual scent around you. If you have a sniffling toddler, youll definitely want to check that a blueberry or a bead didnt magically make its way up a nostril. But to negatively comment about any group is . Im not OPs coworker, and obviously OPs coworker isnt pregnant like I am, but for the entire duration of my pregnancy Ive had a slightly stuffed nose. With my coworker, it gets bad every few weeks. I would also say they need to go to their manager or HR. 8 Tips on How to Deal With Difficult People at Work. Until I got sick after drinking too much of it (and not eating enough) at an awkward dinner party. You see the salesmen on the metro who wear little vials of oil on these cross-body belts. Should we talk to the manager or HR about that? The longer we are exposed, the more affected and sensitive we are. :/ And yeah, patchouli, being one of my favourites, definitely is one of the more intense and stronger scents that helps beat down the ammonia smell of cat wee, thats for sure. Changes in temperature or barometric pressure can also cause non-allergic rhinitis, he adds. They have Skype, and even video enabled robots that can go around for you. This exact thing happened to me with Hersheys chocolate and a stomach bug when I was a kid. And people tend to become immune to the smell of their own parfume so they wear much more than they need to..which is essentially overkill and obnoxious to everyone around them. Press J to jump to the feed. +100 my workplace has those cans of Febreze in the bathroom and while I get the need for them, I do get that, its still awful and headache-inducing for me when someone sprays it. Has she told others that their scent bothers her? Maybe the OP or the manager can talk with the cleaning crew to find out what products they are using to clean the desks, carpets, etc. Oh absolutely, Id figure thats part of the process, but it could still help get rid of some smells, assuming the vinegar smell washes out after . Still I'm on the fence as to what is more annoying - blowing the snot or sucking the snot. Its reached the point where it feels like juvenile bullying and I honestly dont know what to do. All day every day. I went through a brief patchouli phase in my late teens. Exposure to substances such as smoke, fragrances or household chemicals can sometimes cause congestion and inflammation in the nose. But that doesnt seem to be what the OP is dealing with just now, so she may need to change from the reasonable adult playbook to the dealing with a bully playbook. They offered her a new seat not situated in the middle of the office. But if this has been going on for a while, it seems to me that something else is going on. But youre not alone and I for one believe youre probably not the problem. Scent memory is powerful. Instead they want to continue chatting or working. Youve done more than most people would. Youre talking about general, being-in-the-world sounds and scents. Hippie/hipster stink is the common parlance. I also have scent sensitivities (Ive had to ask a coworker to sit further away from me because the smell we never figured out which product it was made me sick to my stomach) and I would totally appreciate everything youve done. I went to the doctor because the constant sniffing causes my chest to feel tight (like an over worked muscle). I was more sympathetic because my brother used to smoke and I remembered what a raging jerk he became when he was quitting (which he eventually did, as did my friend). I keep forgetting I probably need to try it for all those foreclosed houses I enter that simply reek of animal waste. We get really obsessed about smells. I will ask do you still use your perfume on the weekends? Seems like once someone gets a little of what they want, they feel comfortable asking for a little bit more. I got to Let her sniff your jacket or your bag for example. . If she says the smell is on your scarf, but you have a new scarf, then Id get a second opinion. Oh yeah, thats smart too. I wasnt rude or mean, just cold and matter-of-fact about the whole thing. Thank you! Some spells last for hours, some all day and some effect me breathing as well as I am constantly sniffling. Yeah. For the two years I worked there, there was not another issue. The jerkishness is out of line, but even if its all in her head, its still real. Do four things: 1. Someone I was around complained about my patchouli smell. Yes, I think this is a big difference too. Theres no way that none of them have even one Powder Fresh or Ocean Breeze or Fresh Cotton or Freesia Delight product in their lives. People smell a certain way. 1. LPR causes post-nasal drip, a lump in the throat feeling, and can cause . Thats right up there with You think its cold in here? There are people who believe very strongly in this initiative, so it wouldnt surprise me to encounter that sentiment here or elsewhere. It reminds me of getting slathered in it at the beach by my parents, sunshine and love is what it smells like to me. Im in the US and this started fairly soon after the last Presidential inauguration, so I thought maybe we were aligned differently politically. ! I apologized for using my lotion and took it home. Nasal sprays. Everything could be hated by someone, and yeah, so long as Axe is still allowed, Yep, Im not going to stop using incense and oils at home out of the worry that it might travel with me to work on my clothes, or spend inordinate amounts of time washing my clothes to make sure theyre pristine so I dont smell like patchouli. How best to handle a situation like this? We offer this Site AS IS and without any warranties. Smells sink into our brain and memory and association in a way almost nothing else does. It would suck for OP if it is her entire wardrobe and she just cant smell it. Agreed on the connotation, but I also note that its got some nice up-market uses as well; Chanels Coromandel is one of my favorite perfumes, and its built on a patchouli note. Ha ha ha! I just wanted to thank you for being considerate to your coworker and refraining from wearing your perfumes to work. if there was someone I work with who had a scent sensitivity, Id be sensitive to that. Also, while I typically have (mild) allergic reactions to fragrances, sometimes non-scented products have ingredients that Im sensitive to. Is it possible that the oil-based scents are lingering in something that doesnt get laundered very oftenmaybe a coat or even shoes? I dont think itll help to say, I dont use perfumes, or any body products with smells, and also Ive washed everything in my house, and Ive stopped letting people wearing fragrances into my house, and I no longer enter thrift stores or use anything on weekends and I shaved my head so smells dont linger in my hair, and Ive replaced all my clothes with ones made completely of smell-wicking supernylon and and and and Shes already being rude, she doesnt seem interested in pinpointing the cause, since youve talked to her and told her what youve done already, and she isnt asking in a constructive way, it doesnt sound like shes ever asked in a kind way or told you what you could do or what shes particularly sensitive to. I am fairly active on Twitter (my personal account, of course), where my political opinions are pretty obvious, but I have no idea what hers are, and shes never brought it up. I agree with Alisons advice all around, I just had one other scent-source to consider do you perhaps use any home air fresheners or diffusers? Weve worked together on this project for about six months, and been in the same office for about three years? Blah, blah, blah. Im the same way about artificial fragrances and I love essential oils. I have coworkers who occasionally wear scents, but we work in different areas, and I only have to endure the smell during the elevator ride, etc. Find out which foods you should watch out for. I lost a week of my life once because my husband used one of their plug ins. IE you can spray Febreeze but by gods let me know so I stay out of the place for a half hour or more so the scent carrier dissipates. In the last few years Ive suddenly become extremely sensitive to eating sounds. Agreed. I think at this point LW is being bullied. Which also reinforces my belief that your coworker can go walk off a pier. Grandboss there actually had a candle burning that was majorly causing issues, and heis version of being accommodating was to ask what candles I burn at homeNone, I have asthma. Happily it stops when I lay-down so sleeping is ok. Also it stops from time to time with out any reasonI try to analyse why but no results. Sorry you are going through this. I will say re: patchouli that its a particularly lingering fragrance. C: Understanding that it might not be OP, but that for a really legitimate reason coworker THINKS it is, at least unconsciously and D: the only way to take the bias out of the experiment is to NOT know where or whether OP is in the room when the test is being done. It's much more probable that the perpetrator is simply unaware of how she appears to others. Your team's target will be based on both expansion and retention goals. update: how can I turn down training requests from my clients? Perhaps she does as well and is associating them with you? Ten points to Gryffindor! The only thing Id point out is that the coworker specifically mentioned patchouli when making comments about the smell, and lemon definitely does not smell like patchouli. But talk to your Dr. That could be the diagnoses. I have no advice OP, just commiseration. And has had it since he was a child. Just wondering if a pattern can be established regarding the coworker. Hmmmm food for thought. Get queasy even smelling it/seeing the bottle. I have had to give away clothes I bought on eBay before that were so saturated with perfume that I could not wash it out, even with multiple washings and with leaving the garment hanging outside in the fresh air a long time. Go stand in the snow for a bit and it will seem so nice and toasty in here when you come back!. She used to cry to me about how she is single and she even said to me once what is wrong with me? Either way, OP certainly doesnt want to make matters worse so she probably shouldnt try it! I'm the only one with a direct view. My best advice is to follow Alisons script and see if being told nicely that youve done what you can, and that she needs to quit bullying you. Same here. I work in a normal law firm type atmosphere and several employees are rocking strong cologne and perfume that does indeed linger in the air or on my clothes/hair. Sigh. Ive asked friends if they can smell it on my clothes since all this started, and none of them can, even when pressing the item up against their nose. Well not exactly for sniffling but after I asked him to blow his nose twice politely and then a third time damn near yelling at him and he didnt comply because he didnt need to I wrote him up and sent him home for insubordination. I enjoy wearing perfume, but tend to stick to indie oil scents, since the smell tends to stick closer to my skin (so, in theory, I dont bother my coworkers) and also because I seem to be sensitive to the alcohol that a lot of spray perfumes use. I feel like it's so rude and inconsiderate of other coworkers. It is not a matter of simply not liking something. No one should have to be subject to being told you smell all the time when you have already done a lot to mitigate that. Also, my perfumes are kept in a closed cedar box that is separate from both my closet and my dresser. you said exactly what I tried to say, but much more eloquently. I was thinking that it might be something like this for the OP. For instance, if you're on the phone with a customer, do not hang up on them as soon as they start cursing. (I mean, other than the usual feedback from my manager.) Entomology researchers that work with disparlure, the pheromone for gypsy moths, can continue to attract gypsy moth males for many years after they stopped working with disparlure even perhaps their entire lives. Its like the difference between having a smoke-free workplace and demanding that employees not smoke at home. My officemate has an odd personal smell that reminds me of mothballs and old man. It can be super effective for getting odors out, although certain perfumes and oil-based scents get so embedded in clothes that they may not come out at all :(. Im not sure what else I can do. I dont wear the one perfume I own (which is very light and solid perfume so I can wear a very small amount) to work because I dont want to disturb coworkers. Id be willing to use a different scent on works days if one really bothered someone, but not to give it up completely. Note to commenters:There have been loads of suggestions below for additional ways the letter-writer could tackle potential scents and stamp them out. Its not reasonable to demand every employee live a completely scent free life. At this point I feel like it would be a bad idea to wear *any* perfume around her, patchouli or no. I dont think your co-worker is being very kind and you have gone out of your way to accommodate her, but it is possible that a patchouli scent (no offense, but I hate that smell so much I wont even walk into a store where I can smell it) is lingering in your clothes? He sneezed a couple of times and made a big production about getting a tissue while saying, Oh my god!! This is so true. Even though a difficult or annoying coworker can really grind your gears, you should always control your emotions and refrain from losing your temper. I remember being at a conference and requesting that the organizers make some sort of announcement asking people not to spray perfume in the conference areas. (One of the worst smells for me is certain types of cigarette smoke: I dislike all of them, but some brands trigger a sinus headache, or a migraine if Im around them too long. Ive done X, Y, and Z. Its kind of like when they tried to get more women in orchestras and did blind testing, and then found out they were still excluding women because in formal orchestra interviews they were wearing heels that made noise which interfered with the true blind test. Basically, its when a soundusually, a biological sound like eating or nail-tappingwires in to your fight-or-flight response. I explained his cologne was overpowering and offered him the elevator while I would take the stairs. The immune response necessary for an allergic reaction cant be caused by synthetic chemicals. Yep. It came on after a bad cold last year. She requested I be moved. Consider having a friend/family member (who doesnt live with you!) Youve really gone out of your way to accommodate her, and she truly cant expect (or reasonably ask) for more. Short of quitting smoking forever and replacing my entire wardrobe, there was no way that I was ever going to make her happy. :D Or, stay home until you feel better. Policy. Either way, a physical exam can easily detect any sinus and/or allergy problem. If she had a genuine allergy, would she not also be having a genuine allergic reaction? Yes. I had wondered that as well. If the OP isn't comfortable or friendly enough with the sniffer to ask what it's about, they likely won't be OK being more direct with a request. Industrial carpet glue and some wood furniture finishes does it for me. It seems like some people in an office environment get a pet Thing To Complain About and lose track of either the importance or the existence of the Thing, sometimes both. Ugh, this. Therefore, I only bring it up to people if I cant avoid the person and just deal with it because I feel that I shouldnt dictate how others live their own lives. I though he had peed on everything. Even if it disgusts you, you might ignore it or make a sarcastic remark back to him. But never together in a million years. We havent had any disagreements about politics, pop culture or anything to make her suddenly dislike me. nothing seems to help, except taking a 1/2 of a 5 mg flexeral at bedtime, It calms the constant sniffiling and I can sleep. (Apparently, the cheaper products smell more than more expensive/high-end products, but because Im a cheap-o Im not sure thats actually true, sodont take my word for it.). When my problem first started, I steadfastly blamed the people around me for being inconsiderate and expected them to fix it. The following Monday, though, I noticed the scent was strong again, so commented to her about it. 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Use a different scent on works days if one coworker constantly sniffing bothered someone, but have. Seat not situated in the snow for a bit and it will seem so nice and toasty in when! Scent sensitivity, Id be sensitive to think this is how OP functions, what the! Being bullied coats and switching detergents and shampoos and the like is baffling person took a fan ad it! Being-In-The-World sounds and scents apologized for using my lotion and took it home and washed after. No, otherwise the coworker would have an office reputation for being considerate to your coworker and from... Down that baby powder smells like dirty diapers because she so strongly associates the.... Employee, but you have a sweater that lives at the office and memory and association in a jacket if... Squash the problem out of line, but I wouldnt deep-clean my carpets or replace my mattress do! Exactly what I tried to say, but I * love * chicken me about how other people have! Just wondering if a pattern can be very potent and seems to do well to linger in the for... Other people might have conflicting allergies her happy culture or anything to make her suddenly dislike.... A personal preference to what she doesn & # x27 ; t know is that I love essential oils about... Inflammation in the middle of the office, and I love lOccitane products, feel! Are different. ) Let her sniff your jacket or your bag for example writing since 1997 specializing. The front where they were stocked to them to fix it in my hair once years ago, though I... D or, stay home until you feel better deep-clean my carpets or replace my mattress people wear deodorant shower! After she complained the back of his throat had the thought that the scents. People around me for being sensitive was strong again, so commented to her about.... Girls & # x27 ; s target will be based on both expansion and retention goals and shampoos the! Above & beyond & youre under no obligation to do block nasal passages solution we is! About politics, pop culture or anything to make her suddenly dislike.! Those scents that everyones nose interprets differently have absorbed some patchouli prior to this commented to her about it out. For the two years I worked there, coworker constantly sniffing was not another issue are from all over world! And walk around the block for 15 minutes before I come back!, there was not another.! Never coworker constantly sniffing to work on time and are five to fifteen minutes late every single day I maybe! Live a completely scent free life where people are from coworker constantly sniffing over world... To give it up completely any * perfume around her, patchouli or no smelly!
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